compatibility in relationships Archives - The Crush Confidential

The Truth About Drinking Habits in Dating: What You Need to Know

Drinking habits in dating: mismatched alcohol use can affect relationships.

When it comes to matchmaking, one of the most common surprises we see after a first date isn’t about politics, religion, or lifestyle differences. It’s about alcohol consumption.

At The Crush Confidential, we screen, interview, and carefully vet every client before making introductions. One of the questions we ask is simple: Do you drink alcohol? The choices are Never, Socially, or Regularly.

Here’s the catch: almost no one selects “Regularly.” Instead, those who may drink heavily often identify themselves as “social drinkers.” No one ever says, “I’m a functioning alcoholic”—and often, their true drinking patterns aren’t revealed until later.

This can lead to difficult surprises:

  • A client tells us, “She was wonderful, but she drinks way too much.”

  • Or, “He seemed like a great fit, but I was shocked by how much he drank at dinner.”

Sometimes this comes up on the first date, but just as often, it’s discovered on date two, three, or even four. The reality is: dating is a process of discovery. Our role is to curate and guide, but some truths only come to light through shared experiences.


Why This Matters in Relationships

Alcohol itself isn’t the issue—many happy couples enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a cocktail on a night out. The challenge comes when there is a mismatch: one partner considers themselves a “social drinker” while the other experiences that as “too much.” Truly moderating is not a subjective science. There are real numbers that lead to success.

Healthy relationships thrive on compatibility, trust, and shared lifestyle values. By acknowledging these potential mismatches early on—and offering resources like Dr. Perron—we help our clients navigate the reality of modern dating with clarity and confidence.

At The Crush Confidential, we believe in radical honesty about dating. We can’t promise every match will be perfect, but we do promise to walk with you through the process, provide tools and resources, and always put your best interests first.

And if drinking habits have ever been a concern for you in dating, know that you’re not alone—and know that support is available. Explore Dr. Michele Perron’s work or check out this free resource to see how moderation therapy could change the way you approach both alcohol and relationships.


A Proactive Solution: Partnering with Dr. Michele Perron

Because this issue comes up so often, we are excited to announce our newest trusted vendor partner, Dr. Michele Perron.

Dr. Perron specializes in helping individuals who want to better understand and moderate their alcohol use. Through a unique combination of amino acid therapy, The Sinclair Method guidance, and deep dive coaching, she helps people rebalance their body and mind, so that alcohol no longer plays an outsized role in their social or personal lives—in other words, you manage alcohol instead of alcohol managing you.

Her approach is compassionate, nonjudgmental, and science-driven. She doesn’t just tell people to “drink less”—she helps them build the tools to naturally prefer drinking less without having to quit, which can lead to healthier relationships and more authentic connections.

You can learn more about Dr. Perron and her work here: drmicheleperron.com.

The Three-Date Rule: Why You Shouldn’t Judge Compatibility Too Quickly

three date rule in modern dating

When it comes to dating, first impressions carry a lot of weight. But at The Crush Confidential, we believe that real compatibility takes time to reveal itself. That’s why we encourage all of our clients to embrace what we call the Three-Date Rule.

Too often, people dismiss a potential partner after just one meeting — maybe the conversation wasn’t effortless, maybe nerves got in the way, or maybe the “spark” wasn’t instant. But here’s the truth: genuine chemistry often needs space to grow.


Why Three Dates Matter

  1. First-Date Nerves Are Real
    Many singles put too much pressure on the first date. You’re both trying to impress, gauge compatibility, and decide if there’s a future — all in a single evening. No wonder it feels overwhelming! By the second or third date, those walls start to come down and authenticity has a chance to shine.

    (Curious why first impressions aren’t always accurate? Check out Psychology Today’s research on first impressions.)

  2. Chemistry Can Be Subtle
    Attraction doesn’t always strike like lightning. Sometimes, it builds slowly as you discover shared values, humor, and lifestyle alignment. A person who feels “just okay” on date one might feel like an amazing match by date three.

    (Related: our blog on How to Spot Your Relationship Green Flags dives deeper into this idea.)

  3. Lifestyle Alignment Takes Time
    One of the most important parts of a lasting relationship is whether your day-to-day lives and long-term goals truly fit together. These aren’t always obvious in the first conversation, but a few dates in, you’ll start to notice how naturally your rhythms align.

    (See also: The Gottman Institute’s research on long-term compatibility.)


How to Approach the Three-Date Rule

  • Go in with curiosity, not judgment. Instead of looking for red flags on date one, try noticing small green flags that could grow into something meaningful.

  • Be open to surprises. The person who doesn’t immediately sweep you off your feet might actually be the partner who fits your lifestyle and future best.

  • Give yourself permission to slow down. Love isn’t a race, and taking three dates to decide is a way of investing in your future clarity.

For more on this approach, read our blog: Intentional Dating: Why Slowing Down Leads to Stronger Connections.


The Bottom Line

The Three-Date Rule is not about forcing chemistry that isn’t there — it’s about giving compatibility the chance to show up. At The Crush Confidential, we’ve seen countless success stories come from clients who were patient enough to let sparks turn into something lasting.

So before you say “no” after one date, consider saying “yes” to two more. You might be surprised at the connection waiting to unfold.