I am going to tell you (a single person researching matchmaking) something that is going to blow your ever-loving mind. Here it is: the “database” you worry so much about, doesn’t matter. {insert shocked face emoji} I know, you are wondering, why I would spew such nonsense??! Well, because it is true. Let me explain further.
First, you, the client, could sign up with a matchmaking service, and pay thousands of dollars for matchmaking, only to receive a matchmaker that does not do any custom searching for her clientele. She relies on the database of said company only. Now, before you start blaming the matchmaker, let me tell you that most matchmaking companies pay very little for target recruiting efforts, and it’s a TON OF WORK. Like, a lot. So, matchmakers (if they care about their livelihood) think, “Why on Earth would I waste hours and hours trying to find good matches for my client when my company does not pay me for said efforts, nor value my time?” Let me tell you something, I have not been successful in this industry by working for free. Matchmakers’ efforts should be rewarded, and workers should always receive monetary fruit for their labour. So, in circumstances where the database is considered “weaker” (let’s say in a rural area), if the client is given to a matchmaker that doesn’t recruit, that is a problem, because there are not enough candidates to match with the client. For a high percentage of clients to be successful, they need to be placed with matchmakers who have their boots on the ground!
Second, let’s say you are in an urban area with a large single dating pool (say, New York City), the database might be quite large, but you might be less likely to have success because many of the singles are dating with a “grass is always greener” dating mentality. They realize that they are going to be put out on dates constantly (especially the men), and so they are not willing to commit to anyone. They are just having way too much fun! And, they know that the next date is just right around the corner. Again, custom search efforts are likely necessary in this case.
Third, let’s pretend that you have someone very niche that you are seeking, such as a specific ethnicity or religion in an area where the demographic is low, this is, again, going to create a need for custom searching for you. It does not matter if there are 3,000 women in the database if they are all Christian, and you are searching for only Jewish. Are you picking up what I’m putting down here? The database is not what matters.
So, what does matter? BOOTS ON THE GROUND! Here are the questions you need to ask:
1) Am I being placed with an experienced matchmaker, who understands my requested match demographic, and has had success matching in said demographic?
2) Does my matchmaker know how to search for me, beyond the walls of the company database; and, is she/he compensated for doing so?
3) Does my matchmaker network with other matchmaking firms, so that I am being placed with high calibre candidates and clientele, such as myself?
4) Is my matchmaker willing to put herself out there, potentially even in the needed communities, to find my special person for me?
And, in case you are wondering, the answer is “Yes” to all of those when I am your matchmaker. 😉 But, something tells me, you probably knew that.
