Online dating can be exciting but also nerve-wracking. The first message is your chance to make a great impression, stand out, and start a meaningful conversation. But what should you say? This guide will help you craft the perfect first message, with examples and tips for Tinder and other dating apps.
Why Does the First Message Matter?
In online dating, your first message determines whether the conversation will continue or end before it even starts. A well-crafted message can show your personality, spark curiosity, and invite a response.
Since many people receive numerous messages daily, being unique and standing out is important. Sending a generic or boring message reduces your chances of getting a reply.
The right approach can make all the difference between starting a great conversation and being ignored.
First Message Mistakes to Avoid
- “Hey” or “Hi” Messages are too generic and often ignored.
- Overly flirty or sexual messages can be a major turn-off.
Tips for Writing the Perfect First Message
- Be Personal:
Instead of sending a generic “Hey,” take a moment to read the person’s profile. Mention something specific from their bio or photos to show that you’re genuinely interested in them.
- Keep It Short and Sweet:
Long messages can feel overwhelming, and short ones may seem uninteresting. Aim for a concise but engaging message that leaves room for further conversation.
- Avoid Boring Opener:
Messages like “Hey” or “What’s up?” offer little to respond to and can make you blend in with countless others. Instead, make an effort to stand out with something more creative.
Best First Messages for Tinder
Instead of a generic “Hey,” mention something interesting from their profile. This makes your message feel personal and relevant.
Example:
- Your bio says you love sushi. Do you have a favorite sushi spot in town?
Ask a Fun Question
People love engaging questions that aren’t too serious. These spark curiosity and make responding fun.
Example:
- If you could have dinner with any celebrity, who would it be and why?
Use Humor
A funny opener makes you stand out and instantly creates a relaxed vibe, such as Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
Example:
- I was going to send you a cheesy pickup line, but I see you like tacos. So… taco ’bout how great your profile is!
Make a Playful Observation
Light teasing can create instant chemistry and encourage playful banter.
Example:
- I bet you’re the kind of person who puts pineapple on pizza. Am I right, or are we doomed to be enemies?
Refer to Common Interests
Finding common ground right away helps build a natural connection.
Example:
- I’m a big fan of Marvel movies, too! Which one is your favorite, and why?
Perfect First Message for Online Dating
If you’re not on Tinder but using other dating apps, these messages work well:
- You have amazing taste in music! What’s your go-to song when you need a mood boost?
- I love that you travel a lot! Which place stole your heart the most?
- Your photos are incredible! Are you into photography professionally or just for fun?
- What’s the weirdest food you’ve ever tried, and would you eat it again?
- If you had to describe yourself using only emojis, which three would you pick?
How to Keep the Conversation Going
Once you get a response, keep the momentum going:
- Respond Quickly (But Not Too Quickly): Don’t leave them waiting too long, but also don’t reply instantly every time. Strike a natural balance.
- Be Playful and Engaging: Avoid yes/no answers and keep the chat lively with follow-up questions and light humor.
- Match Their Energy: If they respond enthusiastically, keep the same vibe. If they’re more reserved, take a slightly more casual approach.
- Share a Bit About Yourself: Conversations should be a two-way street. Give them something to respond to.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: These encourage longer responses and keep the conversation interesting.
Conclusion
The perfect first message for online dating is personal, engaging, and fun. Whether using Tinder or another dating app, start with something unique that sparks interest. With the right approach, you’ll have a better chance of getting a response. Now, go ahead and make that first move with confidence!
