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How to Know If You’re Truly Ready to Date Again After Divorce

Posted on by Amanda Hood
Dating after divorce – Amanda Hood of The Crush Confidential shares tips on knowing when you’re ready to love again.

Starting over after a divorce can feel overwhelming. Some people feel pressure to jump back in right away, while others wait years before dipping a toe into the dating pool again. The truth is, there’s no universal timeline for when you should begin — but there are signs that can help you know if you’re ready to pursue love again.

At The Crush Confidential, we often work with clients who are navigating this very transition. Whether it’s been months or years since your divorce, the most important thing is clarity — both about what you want and what you’re ready to give.

1. You’ve Processed the Past

If thoughts of your ex dominate your mind or you feel unresolved anger or sadness, it may be too soon. Healing first allows you to enter dating with openness instead of comparison. Seeking support from a trusted therapist or resources like DivorceCare can be an important step toward moving forward.

2. You Know What You’re Looking For

Post-divorce dating offers a chance to redefine what you want. Are you looking for a life partner, companionship, or simply the excitement of meeting new people? Getting clear on your goals helps prevent confusion and wasted time — for both you and your potential partner. For some, that’s where matchmaking services like our 3-date model can help, giving structure and clarity to the process.

3. You’re Comfortable Being Independent

One of the healthiest signs that you’re ready is enjoying your independence. If you feel whole on your own and see dating as an enhancement — not a solution — you’re in the right mindset to attract the right match.

4. You Have Time and Energy to Invest

Dating takes effort. From planning and showing up to staying emotionally present, it’s important to ask yourself: Do I have the bandwidth for this? If the answer is yes, you’re far more likely to find success. For single parents, Amanda recently shared in Now in the Nati that making time and prioritizing your dating journey is essential.

5. You’re Ready to Be Vulnerable Again

Love requires vulnerability. If you feel open to sharing your story, hopes, and dreams with someone new, you’ve likely turned a corner in your healing journey.

Moving Forward With Confidence

Dating after divorce isn’t about forgetting the past — it’s about writing a new chapter. With patience, intentionality, and the right guidance, love can absolutely find you again.

If you’re curious about how The Crush Confidential supports singles navigating this stage of life, explore our client success stories or reach out for a confidential consultation.

 

The Truth About Drinking Habits in Dating: What You Need to Know

Posted on by Amanda Hood
Drinking habits in dating: mismatched alcohol use can affect relationships.

When it comes to matchmaking, one of the most common surprises we see after a first date isn’t about politics, religion, or lifestyle differences. It’s about alcohol consumption.

At The Crush Confidential, we screen, interview, and carefully vet every client before making introductions. One of the questions we ask is simple: Do you drink alcohol? The choices are Never, Socially, or Regularly.

Here’s the catch: almost no one selects “Regularly.” Instead, those who may drink heavily often identify themselves as “social drinkers.” No one ever says, “I’m a functioning alcoholic”—and often, their true drinking patterns aren’t revealed until later.

This can lead to difficult surprises:

  • A client tells us, “She was wonderful, but she drinks way too much.”

  • Or, “He seemed like a great fit, but I was shocked by how much he drank at dinner.”

Sometimes this comes up on the first date, but just as often, it’s discovered on date two, three, or even four. The reality is: dating is a process of discovery. Our role is to curate and guide, but some truths only come to light through shared experiences.

Why This Matters in Relationships

Alcohol itself isn’t the issue—many happy couples enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a cocktail on a night out. The challenge comes when there is a mismatch: one partner considers themselves a “social drinker” while the other experiences that as “too much.” Truly moderating is not a subjective science. There are real numbers that lead to success.

Healthy relationships thrive on compatibility, trust, and shared lifestyle values. By acknowledging these potential mismatches early on—and offering resources like Dr. Perron—we help our clients navigate the reality of modern dating with clarity and confidence.

At The Crush Confidential, we believe in radical honesty about dating. We can’t promise every match will be perfect, but we do promise to walk with you through the process, provide tools and resources, and always put your best interests first.

And if drinking habits have ever been a concern for you in dating, know that you’re not alone—and know that support is available. Explore Dr. Michele Perron’s work or check out this free resource to see how moderation therapy could change the way you approach both alcohol and relationships.

A Proactive Solution: Partnering with Dr. Michele Perron

Because this issue comes up so often, we are excited to announce our newest trusted vendor partner, Dr. Michele Perron.

Dr. Perron specializes in helping individuals who want to better understand and moderate their alcohol use. Through a unique combination of amino acid therapy, The Sinclair Method guidance, and deep dive coaching, she helps people rebalance their body and mind, so that alcohol no longer plays an outsized role in their social or personal lives—in other words, you manage alcohol instead of alcohol managing you.

Her approach is compassionate, nonjudgmental, and science-driven. She doesn’t just tell people to “drink less”—she helps them build the tools to naturally prefer drinking less without having to quit, which can lead to healthier relationships and more authentic connections.

You can learn more about Dr. Perron and her work here: drmicheleperron.com.

Why Shared Values Outweigh Shared Hobbies in Relationships

Posted on by Amanda Hood
Shared values in dating: lifestyle alignment as the foundation of love.

When it comes to dating, it’s easy to be swept away by common interests. Maybe you both love hiking, bingeing the same Netflix series, or trying out new restaurants. While those shared hobbies can spark fun and connection early on, they don’t necessarily guarantee long-term compatibility.

At The Crush Confidential, we see time and time again that the couples who thrive aren’t just bonded by what they do together—they’re united by what they believe in.

Why Values Matter More Than Activities

Hobbies can change. Interests fade. Life circumstances evolve. But values—like integrity, ambition, family priorities, spirituality, or financial mindset—are much more enduring.

A couple who both love hiking may get along on Saturday mornings, but if one values building a family and the other values total independence, tension is inevitable down the road. True compatibility comes from aligning on what matters most at the core.

(Related reading: The Three-Date Rule: Why You Shouldn’t Judge Compatibility Too Quickly).

The Role of Lifestyle Alignment

Amanda Hood, founder of The Crush Confidential, often emphasizes lifestyle alignment as the foundation of a successful relationship. It’s not just about liking the same things—it’s about wanting the same kind of life.

For example:

  • Do you both envision kids in your future?

  • How do you approach finances and career goals?

  • Is faith or spirituality important in your daily life?

  • How do you balance work, family, and personal time?

When these answers are aligned, the relationship feels natural. Shared hobbies become a bonus instead of the glue holding things together.

How to Shift Your Dating Mindset

If you’re single and looking for a partner, here are a few ways to focus on values over activities:

  1. Ask intentional questions early. Instead of “What do you like to do for fun?” try “What’s most important to you right now in life?”

  2. Pay attention to patterns. Notice not just what someone says, but how they live. Do their actions reflect values that match your own?

  3. Don’t overlook differences. It’s okay to have separate hobbies—as long as your deeper goals align.

For more guidance, Amanda recently shared in her Now in the Nati interview that 95% of her clients are single parents—and for them, lifestyle alignment is even more crucial than ever.

The Bottom Line

Shared hobbies might get you a second date. Shared values are what build a lifetime partnership.

Want more insights? Explore our post on Intentional Dating: The Secret to Finding Love Faster or learn why dating with kids requires a mindset shift toward clarity and purpose.

The Three-Date Rule: Why You Shouldn’t Judge Compatibility Too Quickly

Posted on by Amanda Hood
three date rule in modern dating

When it comes to dating, first impressions carry a lot of weight. But at The Crush Confidential, we believe that real compatibility takes time to reveal itself. That’s why we encourage all of our clients to embrace what we call the Three-Date Rule.

Too often, people dismiss a potential partner after just one meeting — maybe the conversation wasn’t effortless, maybe nerves got in the way, or maybe the “spark” wasn’t instant. But here’s the truth: genuine chemistry often needs space to grow.

Why Three Dates Matter

  1. First-Date Nerves Are Real
    Many singles put too much pressure on the first date. You’re both trying to impress, gauge compatibility, and decide if there’s a future — all in a single evening. No wonder it feels overwhelming! By the second or third date, those walls start to come down and authenticity has a chance to shine.

    (Curious why first impressions aren’t always accurate? Check out Psychology Today’s research on first impressions.)

  2. Chemistry Can Be Subtle
    Attraction doesn’t always strike like lightning. Sometimes, it builds slowly as you discover shared values, humor, and lifestyle alignment. A person who feels “just okay” on date one might feel like an amazing match by date three.

    (Related: our blog on How to Spot Your Relationship Green Flags dives deeper into this idea.)

  3. Lifestyle Alignment Takes Time
    One of the most important parts of a lasting relationship is whether your day-to-day lives and long-term goals truly fit together. These aren’t always obvious in the first conversation, but a few dates in, you’ll start to notice how naturally your rhythms align.

    (See also: The Gottman Institute’s research on long-term compatibility.)

How to Approach the Three-Date Rule

  • Go in with curiosity, not judgment. Instead of looking for red flags on date one, try noticing small green flags that could grow into something meaningful.

  • Be open to surprises. The person who doesn’t immediately sweep you off your feet might actually be the partner who fits your lifestyle and future best.

  • Give yourself permission to slow down. Love isn’t a race, and taking three dates to decide is a way of investing in your future clarity.

For more on this approach, read our blog: Intentional Dating: Why Slowing Down Leads to Stronger Connections.

The Bottom Line

The Three-Date Rule is not about forcing chemistry that isn’t there — it’s about giving compatibility the chance to show up. At The Crush Confidential, we’ve seen countless success stories come from clients who were patient enough to let sparks turn into something lasting.

So before you say “no” after one date, consider saying “yes” to two more. You might be surprised at the connection waiting to unfold.

Why Dating Intentionally Saves You Time (and Heartbreak)

Posted on by Amanda Hood

In today’s world of swiping, ghosting, and endless “situationships,” it’s easy to feel like dating has become more complicated than it needs to be. But here’s the truth: dating doesn’t have to feel like a part-time job. When you approach it with intention, you can save yourself not only time—but also a whole lot of heartache.

At The Crush Confidential, we talk often about the power of intentional dating. Instead of drifting from date to date hoping something clicks, intentional dating means having clarity about what you want and making choices that align with your long-term goals.

Here are a few ways intentional dating can change everything:

1. You Spend Less Time on the Wrong People

When you’re clear about your values, lifestyle, and relationship goals, you naturally filter out people who aren’t a fit. No more wasting months with someone who never wanted the same things as you in the first place.

2. You Protect Your Emotional Energy

Dating without direction can leave you drained and discouraged. Setting intentions helps you recognize early when a connection isn’t serving you, so you can gracefully walk away without second-guessing yourself.

3. You Gain Confidence in the Process

When you know what you’re looking for, each interaction becomes less about “Do they like me?” and more about “Do we fit together?” That mindset shift alone can make dating feel lighter and more empowering.

4. You Create Space for the Right Relationship

Intentionality isn’t about rushing. It’s about staying aligned with your goals and open to the right connection—even if it looks a little different than you imagined. (After all, love often surprises us in the best ways.)

At the end of the day, dating intentionally is about honoring your time, your energy, and your heart. It transforms dating from something overwhelming into something exciting—a purposeful journey toward the connection you deserve.

🖤 Ready to start dating with clarity and purpose? Sometimes the best step is simply slowing down, getting clear on what you want, and letting the right opportunities in.

Dating in Your 40s and Beyond: Why This Season of Life Can Be the Most Empowering for Love

Posted on by Amanda Hood

There’s a common (and outdated) myth in the dating world:
That love has an expiration date.

At The Crush Confidential, we work with incredible singles in their 40s, 50s, and beyond—many of whom are just now entering the best season of their dating lives. They’re not “starting over.” They’re starting from experience, clarity, and confidence.

If you’re navigating love in this chapter, here’s why you’re in a far more powerful position than you might realize:

1. You Know Who You Are (and What You’re Not Willing to Compromise On)

Gone are the days of shapeshifting to fit someone else’s idea of “perfect.” You’ve lived, you’ve learned, and you’re clear on your values. That clarity isn’t a limitation—it’s your greatest advantage. You’re not here to convince someone to like you; you’re here to find someone who naturally aligns.

2. You’re Dating with Intention, Not Impulse

You’ve had the experiences that helped you refine what you want—and what you don’t. There’s no need to rush or settle. You’re not dating to fill space; you’re dating to build meaningful connection. That mindset attracts people who are on the same wavelength.

3. Your Life is Already Full—You’re Looking for Someone to Complement It, Not Complete It

Whether you’re focused on your career, raising kids, or enjoying an empty nest, you’re not dating from a place of “lack.” You’re looking for a partner to share a rich, already-fulfilling life with. That kind of groundedness creates healthier, more balanced relationships.

4. You’re Less Tolerant of Games and More Open to Genuine Connection

At this stage, you have zero interest in wasting time with people who play games or aren’t clear about their intentions. And that’s refreshing. You’re open—but not desperate. You’re selective—but not closed off. It’s a balance many people don’t find until their 40s and beyond.

5. You’re Not Afraid to Expand Your Horizons

In your 20s and 30s, location and logistics might have dictated your dating pool. But now? You’re more open to finding love beyond your city, your social circles, or even your state. You know that when lifestyle alignment and values click, geography can be flexible.

6. You’re Emotionally Stronger—But You Still Believe in Love

Perhaps the most empowering thing about dating in your 40s+ is that you’ve weathered life’s storms, but you haven’t let them close your heart. You’re resilient. You know what heartbreak feels like—but you also know that real, lasting love is worth staying open for.

Final Thought

Dating in your 40s, 50s, or beyond isn’t about reinventing yourself.
It’s about stepping into this season with all the wisdom, clarity, and grace you’ve earned—and knowing that your next chapter could be your best one yet.

Love doesn’t have an expiration date.
It has a timing—and this just might be yours.

What ‘Lifestyle Alignment’ Really Means in a Relationship

Posted on by Amanda Hood

In modern dating, there’s a lot of talk about compatibility—but not nearly enough about lifestyle alignment.

At The Crush Confidential, we hear it all the time:
“He checks all the boxes, but something just feels off.”
Or,
“She’s great on paper, but I don’t see us actually living life together.”

That missing piece? It’s almost always lifestyle alignment.

So what exactly does that mean?

It’s Not Just About Shared Interests

You can both love travel, fitness, and Italian food—but if one of you is up at 5 AM training for triathlons and the other likes to sleep in and move slow, that disconnect will show up over time.

Lifestyle alignment is about rhythm, not just recreation.
It’s about how you structure your day, your weekends, your values, your energy.

Questions to consider:

  • Do you have similar social needs—nights out vs. nights in?

  • Are your financial habits in sync (spender vs. saver)?

  • Do your career goals complement or compete with each other?

  • What are your expectations around parenting, downtime, or even chores?

These are the things that make up life, not just love.

Alignment Doesn’t Mean Being the Same

It’s not about finding someone identical to you. In fact, most great couples bring balance to each other’s worlds. But when your core habits and priorities are too far apart, friction replaces flow.

Think of it like dancing:
You don’t have to mirror each other’s steps, but you do need to move to the same beat.

Why It Matters More Than Ever

As we get older and more rooted in our routines—especially for single parents, career-driven professionals, or people reentering the dating world—time and energy become precious.

The fantasy fades quickly if your day-to-day lives feel like a tug of war.

That’s why, during our matchmaking process, we look far beyond hobbies and surface preferences. We dig into how someone lives—because that’s where long-term compatibility truly lives.

The Bottom Line

It’s easy to be attracted to someone’s personality.
It’s harder—but far more important—to ask: Could we actually build a life together?

Lifestyle alignment doesn’t just make dating easier—it makes love feel like a partnership, not a project.

And when that alignment is there, everything else feels just a little more effortless.

Why We Encourage the 3-Date Rule (and What You Might Miss If You Don’t)

Posted on by Amanda Hood

In today’s dating culture, people are quick to make snap judgments. One offhand comment, a slightly awkward moment, or an outfit you wouldn’t have picked yourself—and suddenly the verdict is in: “Not for me.”

At The Crush Confidential, we get it. You’re busy. You don’t want to waste your time. You want the spark, the butterflies, and the connection—now.

But here’s what we’ve learned from years of matchmaking high-intent singles:
The spark isn’t always instant. And that’s okay.

That’s why we encourage what we call the 3-Date Rule—a simple, intentional approach to dating that allows room for real connection to unfold.

Here’s why it works:

1. First Dates Are Often Just… Awkward

Even confident, successful people get nervous. And sometimes, those nerves come out in ways that don’t reflect who they really are—rambling, overtalking, under-talking, being overly formal, or trying too hard to impress.

Instead of asking, “Did I feel sparks?” try asking,
👉 “Do I feel curious enough to see this person again?”

2. Attraction Can Grow with Familiarity

We’ve seen it happen time and time again: a client who was on the fence after Date #1 calls us after Date #3 and says,
“Wow—I’m really into them.”

Emotional safety, subtle humor, shared values… these often take more than 90 minutes and a cocktail to show up. The 3-Date Rule creates space for attraction to move from surface-level to something more sustainable.

3. You’ll Learn More About What You Want

Even if a match doesn’t turn out to be the one, going on a few dates gives you more context:

  • How do you feel in their presence?

  • What values or energy clicked—or didn’t?

  • Did anything surprise you?

Dating intentionally is about refining your clarity, not chasing instant perfection.

4. It Shifts Your Focus from Performance to Connection

When you approach dating with a “one and done” mindset, it becomes transactional—like a constant audition.
But when you give yourself (and the other person) a little breathing room, you stop performing and start connecting.

Real relationships aren’t built on perfect banter. They’re built on trust, rhythm, and shared emotional space. That can’t always be rushed.

5. You Might Be Passing on Someone Truly Aligned

Amanda often reminds clients that she married her husband after just 5 months of dating—even though he didn’t check her “must be over 6 feet tall” box. If she’d dismissed him on Date 1 for not meeting that one (very specific) preference, she would’ve missed out on a life-changing connection.

You never know who someone really is—until you give them the chance to show up.

The Bottom Line

The 3-Date Rule isn’t about lowering your standards.
It’s about creating space for clarity.

So if you’re on the fence after a first date, ask yourself:
Is there enough curiosity to say yes one more time?

You might be surprised by what’s waiting on the other side of a second—or third—look.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Your Dating Life (Without the Guilt)

Posted on by Amanda Hood

Dating as a single parent can be emotional—and not just for you. The thought of talking to your kids about your dating life can bring up uncertainty, awkwardness, or even guilt.

But here’s a gentle reminder:
You’re allowed to want love.
And showing your kids what healthy relationships look like—at any stage of life—is a powerful, positive thing.

Here are five thoughtful tips for navigating this conversation with honesty and care:

1. Get Clear on How You Feel First

Before bringing your kids into the conversation, take a moment to reflect on where you’re at emotionally. Are you excited? Nervous? Unsure? A little bit of everything?

Being aware of your own feelings helps you approach the topic calmly and intentionally. Kids pick up on energy more than words—so when you feel steady, it helps them feel safe.

2. Adjust the Conversation to Their Age

Younger kids don’t need details. Older kids might have more questions. Keeping the message age-appropriate can ease tension and make the conversation more natural.

Younger kids:
“I’m going to spend time with a new friend. It’s someone who makes me happy.”

Teens:
“I’ve decided to start dating again. It’s important for me to build connection, just like it is for anyone.”

You don’t need to over-explain. Just offer honest, simple information.

3. Reassure Them of Their Place in Your Life

One of the most important things kids need to hear is:
“You’re still my priority.”

Make it clear that dating doesn’t change how much they matter to you. Let them know that any relationship you pursue will only move forward if it’s healthy—for you and for them.

4. Don’t Introduce Everyone You Date

This one’s important: kids don’t need to meet every person you go on a few dates with. It’s often best to wait until a relationship feels stable before introducing someone new into your children’s world.

If and when you do make that introduction, keep it low-key. A short meeting at a neutral place (like a coffee shop or park) can feel more relaxed for everyone.

5. Make Space for Their Feelings

Even if you do everything “right,” your child might still feel uncomfortable, confused, or even upset. That’s okay. Let them feel what they feel without trying to fix it immediately.

You can say something like:
“I know this is new, and it’s okay to feel however you feel. I’m here to listen.”

A Final Thought

There’s no perfect script for this conversation, but the fact that you’re thinking about it means you care—and that matters most. You can be a loving, present parent and still make space for a fulfilling personal life.

It’s not about choosing one or the other. It’s about building a life where both can exist in harmony.

Featured on Now in the Nati: Why It’s Time for Single Parents to Prioritize Love

Posted on by Amanda Hood

We were honored to be featured in Now in the Nati, where Amanda shared what it really looks like to date as a single parent—and why it’s more than just possible… it’s powerful.

At The Crush Confidential, 95% of our clients are single parents. That’s not a typo. Most of the incredible people we work with are juggling carpools, careers, and co-parenting—while still carving out space for love. And while that can feel daunting, it’s absolutely doable with the right mindset (and the right matchmaker).

Here’s the truth Amanda shared:
Lifestyle alignment is everything. When you’re a single parent, compatibility isn’t just about chemistry—it’s about rhythm. Does this person understand what your Tuesday night looks like with three kids and a soccer tournament? Are they someone who supports the kind of life you’ve built—not someone who makes you feel like you have to explain or apologize for it?

We don’t just match based on interests or physical attraction—we dig into how you live, what you value, and what your day-to-day really looks like. Because that’s what determines lasting connection.

And for our empty nesters, Amanda had another piece of advice:
Don’t box yourself in geographically.
Maybe your kids are grown. Maybe your life is more flexible than it’s ever been. This is your chance to expand your horizons. Your soulmate might not live in your zip code—or even your state. That’s why we encourage open minds and open hearts when it comes to location.

Finally, Amanda reminds single parents to prioritize their dating life. Yes, your time is limited. But love is not selfish. Making room for it doesn’t take away from your kids—it sets an example for what healthy, joyful relationships look like.

So if you’re a single parent who’s been putting love on the back burner, consider this your sign:
Your story isn’t on pause. It’s just beginning.

👉 Watch the full interview on Now in the Nati here:
The Crush Confidential on Dating as a Single Parent