In today’s dating culture, people are quick to make snap judgments. One offhand comment, a slightly awkward moment, or an outfit you wouldn’t have picked yourself—and suddenly the verdict is in: “Not for me.”
At The Crush Confidential, we get it. You’re busy. You don’t want to waste your time. You want the spark, the butterflies, and the connection—now.
But here’s what we’ve learned from years of matchmaking high-intent singles:
The spark isn’t always instant. And that’s okay.
That’s why we encourage what we call the 3-Date Rule—a simple, intentional approach to dating that allows room for real connection to unfold.
Here’s why it works:
1. First Dates Are Often Just… Awkward
Even confident, successful people get nervous. And sometimes, those nerves come out in ways that don’t reflect who they really are—rambling, overtalking, under-talking, being overly formal, or trying too hard to impress.
Instead of asking, “Did I feel sparks?” try asking,
“Do I feel curious enough to see this person again?”
2. Attraction Can Grow with Familiarity
We’ve seen it happen time and time again: a client who was on the fence after Date #1 calls us after Date #3 and says,
“Wow—I’m really into them.”
Emotional safety, subtle humor, shared values… these often take more than 90 minutes and a cocktail to show up. The 3-Date Rule creates space for attraction to move from surface-level to something more sustainable.
3. You’ll Learn More About What You Want
Even if a match doesn’t turn out to be the one, going on a few dates gives you more context:
How do you feel in their presence?
What values or energy clicked—or didn’t?
Did anything surprise you?
Dating intentionally is about refining your clarity, not chasing instant perfection.
4. It Shifts Your Focus from Performance to Connection
When you approach dating with a “one and done” mindset, it becomes transactional—like a constant audition.
But when you give yourself (and the other person) a little breathing room, you stop performing and start connecting.
Real relationships aren’t built on perfect banter. They’re built on trust, rhythm, and shared emotional space. That can’t always be rushed.
5. You Might Be Passing on Someone Truly Aligned
Amanda often reminds clients that she married her husband after just 5 months of dating—even though he didn’t check her “must be over 6 feet tall” box. If she’d dismissed him on Date 1 for not meeting that one (very specific) preference, she would’ve missed out on a life-changing connection.
You never know who someone really is—until you give them the chance to show up.
